Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Book review for I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

I’ve been meaning to read this book for MONTHS now, but just hadn’t gotten around to it until the other day. To be honest, I was kind of scared to read it at first. I mean, doesn’t the title intimidate you a little? It did me. I wasn’t (and still am not) too keen on the idea of “courting.” I imagined a guy dressed in a starched suit and tie coming over on Sunday evenings and sitting stiffly on the front porch together with the windows open, with my mom secretly eavesdropping on us to make sure we don’t touch each other or anything equally traumatic.  I was thinking this book was going to curse dating and sing the praises of courting, but I was wrong (surprise there! No, just kidding…J). Mr. Harris actually stated in the introduction that that was not what he was going to do. He even went so far as to state that 1) he didn’t think that dating was sinful and 2) rejecting typical dating doesn’t mean that you’ll never spend time alone with a guy/girl. He also said that this book wasn’t about dating. WHAT? I know, that’s what I said too. No, it’s about what God wants. Dating is not about us, it’s about God’s plan for our lives.
            This book was really good. Mr. Harris said it like it was, and didn’t overlook any aspect or detail that could possibly arise over the issue of dating. The later part of the book even brought up the subjects of marriage and how to find God’s perfect match for you. It also said that even though God’s plan for most people is marriage, sometimes His will for you is to remain single so that you can do other wonderful things for the Kingdom of God. I won’t lie; this freaked me out. I anticipate the day I get married, and am extremely excited about falling in love and all the romance that comes with finding “the one.” I look forward to having lots of children (six, to be exactJ) and being a loving parent, wife, and homemaker. I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that God’s plan could be for me to remain single. On the other hand, He knows what’s best for me (despite the song in Tangled that states that “mother knows best”). But I digress.

            One thing I loved about Mr. Harris’ book was the way he encouraged us to treasure our singleness. He made it seem like an achievement! In today’s society, singleness is DEFINITELY not treasured. Another thing I really liked was Mr. Harris’ account of his dream of the room full of files. I won’t spoil it for those of you who haven’t read this book, but I’ll just say I found it very fascinating and eye-opening. One thing that really spoke to me was the part about lust, infatuation, and self-pity. Also, this book opened my eyes to the major sacrifices that must be made for the sake of marriage. I seriously didn’t know how important and fragile that kind of relationship can be, and how badly it can be damaged without proper care. The thing that I will probably remember most about this book is the “What Matters at Fifty?” game. It forced me to think about how I dress and the character qualities that I need to work on that will still be with me at fifty. Guys might find looks attractive now, but looks certainly don’t last forever-not even until fifty. Love, honesty, loyalty, patience, and the joy of Christ are some things that do last, though. J

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